Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Portrait

Cycling, as always on the wrong side of the road
to the campus,
as unsuspecting as on
any Monday morning,
I  confront winter :
a tree all alone
with branches forlorn
and leaves stripped off;
yet, rides away, only faster,
no turning back
no second look.

Winter, I don't want to write about you.

The way you devour the colours and 
turn everything into a grey,
the way your every image
manifest loneliness,
oh winter, putting it down on paper,
I always end up
doing something i would never want to do,
a self portrait.
*Meaning

A poet died
back home
and I,
miles away
couldn't make out
what it meant.

He had died before also,
almost, I mean.
Like a frog run over by a truck
many a times he had
fallen down on the black mud
of the streets,
drenched in blood,
in wine,
spread eagled,
almost dead.

There were his other deaths too,
less physical,
but more intense.
Mostly murders, i guess.

Love hate lust
and folks like you and me
together had him dead
at the cross, many times,
and yet, from his blood,
holy in its unholiness,
they had risen like fire,
words,
burning their way 
right into you.

They called him an addict,
made fun at his back,
but were silent as the stones 
when he rode,
with his 'bird' and the 'snake'*
like a king 
on the streets 
in the rain 
of molten, acidic,
black ink.

I asked a friend of mine
what it means when
a poet dies;
don't know why, but she said
probably it was a 
'trick question'.
May be 
that's what it could mean
when a poet dies.

A trick
to end the agony 
of being shackled to life.

A question
that keeps screaming
in your head, 
never letting you 
forget.



* In memory of the Malayalam poet A. Ayyappan who passed away recently. The poet who had led a tumultuous and lonely life remained lonely in his death also. His body remained unidentified on the roadside for hours.The poet had recently won the coveted Aashan prize.

* The poet's favourite metaphors, the 'bird' and the 'snake'
Crowded

These days
I find myself
increasingly in love with 
things which I once abhorred:
like crowds,
yes, crowds.

You see, I have my reasons:
A crowd
is the safest place to be
when you are 
a wounded animal.
It lets you
grunt and growl
and lick the wounds
till you're ready
to hunt again.

Nobody will notice.

A crowd
is where you should be
if you want to play
say, hide and seek.
At times 
you might get lost
that is, lost forever
never able to find 
who you were.

But that's okay
part of the game.

Once in a crowd
you can slough off
all your apprehensions.
Flimsy pretexts of 
love and care
nagging doubts of
right and wrong
won't even dare
to come near you.

Instead, you are blessed 
with courage and skill
of course, to kill.

One can hardly miss
the unfathomable 
benevolence of a crowd.

Always keeps you locked
in its giant embrace
until  you give in
and replenish yourself
to a new birth.

Faceless and soulless. 

But do you know what the sad part is?
All its virtues
have yet not made me
the loyal follower
the obedient soldier
that I would like to be.

Still, at times
I feel
that I need to get 
my voice back
from the labyrinth of
its endless sounds.

But it'll pass, Iam  sure.

For who can resist
and who wants to miss
the might that is 
the bliss that is
the crowd.
ഈ നഗരം


ഈ  നഗരത്തെയിനി
പിരിയാനാകില്ല


നെറുക ചൂഴുന്ന
ഇതിന്‍റെ വെയിലില്‍
ഇണ ചേര്‍ന്നിഴയുന്ന പാതകള്‍
ഫണം വിടര്‍ത്തുമെങ്കിലും  
ഇതിന്‍റെ മൃതസന്ധ്യകളുടെ
ഉലര്‍ന്ന ചുണ്ടുകളില്‍
ഉറയാത്ത കാമം
അറപ്പിക്കുമെങ്കിലും
കുതറുന്തോറും
ഇറുക്കമേറും
ആവര്‍ത്തനങ്ങളാല്‍
ഇതു നീട്ടുമാലിംഗനം.


ഒറ്റ വേഗം
ഒരേ നിറം
മറുവിളിയില്ലാത്ത
ഒരേ നിശബ്ദത


നുരയടങ്ങാത്ത
തീക്കുഴമ്പിന്‍റെ
ലഹരി തീര്‍ക്കും
ഇതിന്‍റെ സൗഹൃദം
യാത്ര പോകുമ്പോള്‍
പതിഞ്ഞ താളത്തില്‍
'തിരിച്ചുവാ'യെന്നു
സ്നേഹഗദ്ഗദം.


ഇതിന്‍റെ പ്രണയം
എന്‍റെ മുറിവുകളില്‍
പഴുത്തുകിടക്കുന്ന 
മദജലം.


ഇതിന്‍റെ ഓര്‍മ
ഞാനുറങ്ങുന്ന
പൂക്കാത്ത മരത്തിന്‍റെ
പൊത്ത്.
     സന്ധ്യ 

വിഷാദം പോലെ
മഞ്ഞ വെയില്‍
പരക്കുമ്പോഴോ
ചുവപ്പിന്‍റെ
ക്രുദ്ധസൂര്യന്‍
പടിഞ്ഞാറു പോകുമ്പോഴോ 
മേഘവെണ്മയില്‍ നിന്നു 
കാക്കകള്‍ 
പറന്നു പോകുമ്പോഴോ 
അല്ല 

നിന്നെയോര്‍ക്കുമ്പോള്‍ മാത്രം 
എനിക്കെപ്പോഴും 
സന്ധ്യയാകുന്നു 


സംശയം 

നിന്നെ ഞാന്‍ പ്രണയിക്കുന്നത്‌ 
കവി 
വസന്തത്തെയെന്നപോലെയല്ല
മരണം ഉറപ്പായവന്‍ 
ജീവിതത്തെയെന്ന പോലെ.

അത് കൊണ്ടാണ് 
നീ യാത്ര  പറയുമ്പോഴെല്ലാം 
ഇനി കാണില്ലേ 
എന്നെനിക്കു സംശയം. 

       എളുപ്പമാകില്ല

എളുപ്പമാകില്ലിനി  
ഉറക്കം നടിക്കുവാന്‍

ഉണര്‍ത്തുവാന്‍ വരും
ഓര്‍മ്മയായി അന്‍സാരി 
നിറഞ്ഞ കണ്ണുമായ്
 നിതാന്ത ഭീതിയായ്
പലസ്തീനില്‍ നിന്നു
കരച്ചിലായി വരും 
വെളുത്ത ബോംബിനാല്‍*  
മരിച്ച കുഞ്ഞുങ്ങള്‍  
കൊടി നിറങ്ങളില്‍ 
പൊതിഞ്ഞ ചാവിന്‍റെ   
സ്മരണയായെന്‍റെ 
ദുരിത ഭൂ വരും 
വറുതി പൂക്കുന്ന 
വിളനിലങ്ങളായ് 
തിര നിലയ്ക്കാത്ത 
കദനമാഴിയായ്
വരുമൊരായിരം 
നിനവുകള്‍ സ്ഥിരം 
പുതിയ നേരിന്‍റെ 
പ്രവചനങ്ങളായ് 
വഴി മറന്ന 
പഥികനെപ്പോലെ 
മുഖം ചുവപ്പിച്ചു 
പുലരിയെത്തുന്നു 

ഇനിയൊരിക്കലും 
എളുപ്പമാകില്ല  
ഉറക്കം നടിക്കുവാന്‍.


* വൈറ്റ് ഫോസ്ഫറസ് എന്ന മാരക രാസായുധം 
          *In My Room


This is my Room.

This is where I behold 
death in all its detail:
when spiders dangling from the cobwebs
suck life out of tiny moths

The faded wings
lying in dust
 mementoes of their last strife.

This is where I hear
silence breaking in to pieces:
when rain falls 
at midnight.

An orchestra in the beginning
And then an avalanche
Engulfing me 
Through the open window.

This is where I discover
the meaning of loneliness:
when from a sleep of unending nightmares
I wake up,panting
find no one to hold hands with
but darkness.

This is where I realise
that the child is no more:
that he is long dead
stabbed and strangled
and dragged in to the dark

The child within.

This is where
from a thousand paper bits
red in colour and spread on the floor
I read, like a revelation
so small a word
yet so enchanting
'love'.

This is from where all my journeys begin
and to where I return everytime .

To these graffited walls and open window
these orphaned letters in books scattered
the heat the cold
of my Room.


* A tribute to my hostel room where I spent the most part of the last three years.

NIGHT


Night 
Is a brooding dog
waiting to plunge at my throat
A dead river
my thoughts as dead fishes floats by
A tornado
my voice drown in it
Is empty
still flows over
Is cruel
yet loving
Like the butcher who pats the cow
and slits its throat neatly

Deceptive in its calm
And unforgivingly true.